by Dr. Richard Blackaby
I recently had a revelation. I am terrible at reading the signs around my own life. I am like the impatient driver who notices the red light flashing incessantly on the dash of his car, but keeps driving anyway, intending to pull over at a gas station further down the highway. I often saw lights flashing on the dash of my life, but assumed the situation either wasn’t urgent or that I had plenty of time to address my problem later.
Leaders are a strange breed. We can be adept at helping others recognize their shortcomings. We can be brimming with possible solutions for the problems of others. Yet we routinely neglect the issues metastasizing throughout our own life and relationships.
That was my problem. I was an extremely busy leader. I had far more tasks to accomplish than I had time in the day. I was speaking on average, four times per week. I was traveling across North America and internationally. I was under contract to write three books. I was leading a busy ministry. I had numerous people who wanted to meet with me or to seek my endorsement. This, in itself, is not bad. But it was in the midst of this frenetic activity that warning signs began flashing on my dash.
My health began to show signs of wear and tear. For years I had been able to push my body to excess and yet bounce back with a little sleep and a dose of Nyquil. But things were changing. I was having more difficulty shedding the excess pounds that were clinging to me. I began to experience various health issues of nausea, lack of appetite, and internal bleeding. Yet I still forged ahead. I was late to meeting deadlines for the first time in my life. My wife of thirty years, a long-suffering saint, was making disparaging comments about my brutal schedule and her unhappiness with our lifestyle. Yet I did what I always did. I promised myself, and her, that things would slow down soon and then everything would be fine.
Looking back, I wonder why it is so difficult for leaders to recognize in themselves what is obvious in others? The problems I faced this summer were the same ones I had been experiencing my entire adult life, only worse. This was nothing new. Only my excuses were becoming threadbare.
The interesting thing with most people is that when we look at others’ problems, we assume it flows from their character and personal decisions. When we look at our own problems, we tend to blame our circumstances and outside forces beyond our control. Even when the signs are screaming out that we have a problem, our defense mechanisms continue to blame our boss or the economy or the bank or our critics.
One of the most powerful truths of Scripture is this: “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32). Truth sets you free! But here’s the key: you have to truly know it. Not just know about it. Christian ministers typically don’t lack knowledge about God’s word. The problem is that they have never personally experienced it. I knew about the truths of margin, boundaries, and balance. I knew about developing healthy schedules and about caring for the health of my body and family. Yet that knowledge had never worked its way into my experience or my calendar.
I have been encouraged by the psalmist Asaph who struggled as he watched the wicked prosper. Then one day he declared: “When I thought how to understand this, it was too painful for me—Until I went into the sanctuary of God. Then I understood their end” (Psalm 73:16-17). Asaph was experiencing turmoil. Life seemed unfair. He questioned his beliefs and values. Maybe he had made a mistake with his life. Then one day he went to the temple. And, while there, he experienced a spiritual breakthrough. He suddenly saw life as it really was. His confusion vanished. The truth had always been there, but it took the Holy Spirit to open his eyes so he could see and understand it.
As leaders, we are running blind if don’t allow the Holy Spirit to open our eyes to the realities of our life and organization. We may be highly intelligent people and yet miss problems in our life that are obvious to others:
Ben has terrible eating habits and is 100 pounds overweight. Yet despite shortness of breath, lack of energy, the onset of Type 2 Diabetes, and pains in his knees, he refuses to acknowledge that he needs to drastically change his eating habits.
Susan is regularly receiving complaints from school teachers and youth workers at her church that her teenage daughter Sarah is struggling and needs immediate parental intervention. Sarah is dressing provocatively, is obsessed with boys, and is neglecting her studies. The woman is extremely busy at work and assumes her daughter is simply going through normal teenage transitions.
Cam is an extremely busy businessman who maintains a brutal travel schedule. His wife has been constantly complaining that their marriage is in shambles. Cam promises that at the end of the business cycle, he’ll take her somewhere for a holiday. Inside, Cam is frustrated that his wife does not appreciate how hard he works on behalf of their family.
Looking back on personal or corporate disasters, it is clear that there were all kinds of warning signs leading up to the eventual crisis. However, too often, leaders fail to heed them.
That is why we need moments of personal insight. Those are times when the Holy Spirit opens our eyes and He makes it clear to us what the problem is. If you are experiencing chronic problems in your marriage or with one of your children or in your health or at work, then there are root causes that must be addressed. Don’t assume you already know what the problem is! Hint: if you are certain that the cause of your problems lies with someone other than you, then you may indeed be blinded to reality.
Asaph’s his eyes were finally opened as he was worshiping in the temple. My eyes were finally opened as my health and marriage experienced great strain. What would it take for you to clearly see your life, and problems, the way God does?