by Dr. Richard Blackaby
It is a simple, two letter word, but its absence has led to the downfall of many a promising leader. It seems like such an easy word. It is one of the first phrases that children learn to utter (Often before “daddy!). Yet as we get older, it often becomes increasingly difficult to say.
We often think of great leaders as the people with the most opportunities. They are the ones with numerous job offers or book contracts or invitations to speak or to serve on prestigious boards. But often this is not the case. What makes some people outstanding leaders is their ability to say, decisively, and irrevocably, “no.”
I have found in my own leadership journey that the farther I go in leadership, the less I do. But here is the caveat: the “less” I do must be done superbly. Leaders don’t do the most work, but they should perform the best work. You don’t have to be swinging the bat at the plate all the time, but when you are, you need to hit a home run.
And this is the downfall of many a leader. Instead of becoming a racehorse, we hitch ourselves to the plough and become a worn out, mule. While there is nothing wrong with getting a lot of work done, it robs us of the excellence we might have achieved.
The truth is that as you rise in your leadership positions, you will have an increasing number of distractions. People will want you to endorse their new book, or serve on their board, or speak to their gathering. If you are driven by ego, or a desire to please others, you will feel compelled to accept most or all of your invitations. Before long, you will be so busy helping other people be successful that you have no time to accomplish what only you can do.
That book you always meant to write will sit languishing on your desk. Those books you needed to read will remain unopened. You will be filled with good intentions but your calendar will absolutely forbid you from following through on them. You may find some consolation in complaining to others about how busy you are. But at the end of the day, being busy does not change the world. That comes by doing your best.
The great temptation is in believing that because you can do something, you should do it. Most leaders have a high capacity to get things done. They are generally hard workers. So it is easier to take on more than to take time to consider whether it is their responsibility or not. The harsh reality is that most leaders are currently doing work they should have delegated.
Whenever I talk with a leader who is burning out, or plateaued, or discouraged, I generally discover someone who has not said “no” enough. When I meet a leader who does not spend as much time with God in prayer as they ought, I know I have found someone in desperate need of “no.” When leaders bemoan the fact their children are struggling or their marriage has suffered neglect, they are inadvertently confessing they do not know how to say “no.” “No” is the answer to much of what ails leaders!
Here is a check list for you:
- Do I have a list of books piling up I never have time to read?
- Has it been a long time since I took a quality, restful, vacation?
- Do I always have a stack of unanswered e-mails?
- Do I never have enough time to spend adequate time with: God, spouse, children?
- Do I never have time to get enough exercise?
- Do I feel like I am stuck in a rut in my personal or professional life?
- Am I burning out?
- Am I discouraged?
- Am I tired all the time?
- Have I developed a critical or negative attitude?
Carefully review your answers. They might well reveal that you have not been saying “no” enough. If so, begin saying it today! Who knows? You might get used to it, and even enjoy it! And, along the way, you might just reach new heights as a leader you never imagined were possible.