by Dr. Richard Blackaby
The world is divided into various divergent groups of people. There are the night owls and early birds, givers and takers, extroverts and introverts, cognitive and affective, men and women, visionary and pragmatic, and so on. But I’d like to suggest another category: truth tellers and grace givers.
Scripture tells us: “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). Jesus may well have been the only person who ever walked the earth who was full of both! People have a tendency to gravitate to one or the other.
Truth tellers are people who like to tell it like it is. They shoot straight. The truth might bless you or crush you, but when you are with them, you’re going to get it! Of course, telling the truth is a good thing. Jesus said that when you knew the truth, it would set you free (John 8:32). But human frailty being what it is, some people can only handle it in manageable doses!
Over the years I have had to share the “truth” with numerous people. At times it was a reprimand I had to administer to a staff person. At other times it was an encouragement for a job well done. Since I am a cognitive person, I like to hear the facts. I hate it when people aren’t honest with me about what they think. I grew up thinking you should treat others in exactly the same way you wanted to be treated yourself. I found that didn’t work! At times I would tell someone some hard information about their sub par performance and, instead of thanking me for sharing the facts with them, they became hurt, or angry. All I was doing was being honest with them! But it hurt them. I have some painful regrets for times I shared more with people than they were prepared to receive. I should have demonstrated more grace.
Grace is the way God relates to people. Grace is kind. It builds people up and makes them like Jesus. It forgives. It is others-centered rather than self-centered. We live in a broken, hurting, and often, dysfunctional world. People need grace. That’s what Jesus showed the woman caught in adultery and Peter after he denied Him three times. There are times when people don’t need more truth hammered over their head; they need grace.
Of course, sometimes this can go too far. Some people are so “gracious” that they never confront behavior that is unChrist-like. These leaders allow sub par performances and lack of effort to continue even when it is damaging the organization. They give endless second chances even when it doesn’t appear to be improving performance.
The classic tale of this contrast occurred with history’s most famous missionary duo: Paul and Barnabas. These two men set out for the Church’s first missionary journey. They took the young man John Mark with them. However, their associate got cold feet and abandoned them for home (Acts 13:13). When it came time to go on their second missionary journey, these two spiritual giants had their first falling out (Acts 15:36-41). Barnabas wanted to give John Mark a second chance. Barnabas was your classic “grace” guy! After all, when no one would give Saul of Tarsus a chance, Barnabas had! But Paul refused. The truth of the matter was that he was unreliable. These men were going to face numerous challenges and dangers; they needed someone they could depend upon.
Who was right? They both were! Paul and Barnabas just looked at the situation from opposite ends of the truth-grace continuum. Paul saw the facts. Barnabas saw the hurting person. Did Paul need more grace? Yes. Did Barnabas need more truth? Probably. While Barnabas fades into the mist of history, Paul clearly learned to show grace to John Mark and as a result, came to greatly appreciate his ministry.
As leaders we will lean to one side of the spectrum or the other. Some of us tend to immediately lay out the facts without considering the pain threshold of the one we are speaking to. Others of us are too lenient and long-suffering. Sometimes we need to have the courage to speak the truth. To be a Christ-like leader, we need to exercise both grace and truth. On which side of the continuum do you lean? How does God want to bring more balance into your leadership?